Final Fantasy 7: The Making!
by Tenchi19
Summary: a First Look at the making of Final Fantasy 7! I will get a laugh out of some of you!! LAST CHAPTER UP!!! FINNALY!!! R&R!!!
1. Default Chapter

Note: these Char

Note: these Char. Do not belong to me so don't sue me. Plus don't sue me for my poor attempt to make comedy.

Thanks.

Final Fantasy IIV: The Making! "Bloopers"

By Slayer13

Questions for the Cast…

1.Cloud:

Q.Can you really handle a sword?

A. Sure! Watch this!

Cloud gets up and takes out his Buster Sword. He makes a swipe and the sword flies out of his hand and hits a camera. "Ooops…"

The interview person laughs.

Q:Cloud. Have you ever had a sexual relationship with Tifa?

A.(Cloud Stands up) I have not had sexual relations with that woman…miss Tifa…err oops. Heh heh. No I haven't.

Cloud wipes the sweat from his eyebrow and watches Tifa nod with approval.

Q.In the game. Did you ever have troubles with any of the monsters?

A.Yes. In the middle of one of the flash back scenes me and Sephiorth had to fight this green Dragon but it wasn't at all easy to control it. I brought a clip. Take a look.

Flash to Scene…

Sephiroth and Cloud have climbed out of the truck. "Get back Cloud. This one's mine!" Sephiroth makes a flying dash with his Masamune. The dragon roars and swallows Sephiroth whole. "CUT!!" screams the director. Cloud scratches his head. "Holy shi..*beep*

Back To interview.

The guy looks scared now. "Well. Err Lets go to the phones! Caller Number 1!! You're on the air baby!

Caller: Q. Does Tifa have implants?

Cloud:A.Err..

Cloud walks over to Tifa and feels her tits. They seem to swash back and forth after he let's go. A very mad Tifa smacks him across the face. Cloud walks back to his seat with a red handprint on his cheek. 

Cloud: A. would say so.

A chair flies across the room hitting Cloud in the head. Tifa looks at him angrily.

Interviewer: Caller Number 2! Your on the air man!

Caller#2: Well..um..err..i..um..CLOUD YOU ROCK MAN!!! *click * 

Cloud: ….o..k

The interviewer rolls his eyes. 

Interviewer: Ok enough calls. We have enough time for a few more questions. (flips though some pages)

Q. Cloud. Have you ever used the hilt of you're sword for anything that Tifa…*sweat drop * might see as pleasure?

Cloud looks up fast. Wipes something off the hilt of sword and grins.

A: Nope. Heh Heh.

Tifa nods again.

Interviewer: Ok last question.

Q….Where the hell do we get these questions???!! ( a person can be heard in the back saying "cut the crap and read em")

Did you ever have a threesome with the girls?

A.*sweat drop * Yes.

Three chairs go flying at cloud and he is knocked out cold.

Interviwer: Well I guess that's it for Cloud's Questions. Tune in later for a chance to ask the amazing boob job girl Tifa. the questions you wanna know.

Note: This was a very poor attempt at comedy right? Maybe…Maybe not. If you want me to continute…GIVE ME A HELL YA!

LOL. Oh well. 

Next Chapter (maybe) Tifa Interview Questions.


	2. Chapter 2: Clouds Bloopers:

Final Fantasy 7 The Making

Final Fantasy 7 The Making! "Bloopers" Chapter 2

Cloud's Bloopers!:

Scene 1

Cloud has just arrived on the train. Barret and the others jump off. "Come on New comer!" screams Barret. Trying to show off Cloud does a flip off the train. And So..on the way down. He nicks the backside of the train knocking him unconscious. 

Scene 1. Mako Reactor.

Director: Making this scene took a lot of skill with cloud. We made this cool looking Scorpion robot. It was the best tech in Japan. But as the shot was being taken the first time. One of the idiots on my crew let one of the kids inside to watch the filming.

Cloud: What happened Next was fu *beep* insane!

Flash to scene: We find Cloud and Barret fighting the monster. Director: Ok..ACTION!! The huge Scorpion attacks at Cloud with its huge stinger. Cloud dodges fast making a clean swipe cutting off its tail. Barret jumps back and starts firing his gun arm at the monster. The bullets bounce off its metal hide. Director: Okay! Cut! Bring in the stunt double. The double looks nervous. Director: Action! The scorpion goes back to work…but this time with the kid at the controls! The stunt double goes for the Braver Limit Break! The kid punches a couple of buttons and the Scorpion goes haywire! It re grows a stinger and runs the stunt double through. Director: For the love of..CUT! Get that stupid kid out of here. And fetch me some more Stunt doubles. Promise them good health if you have to. In the background some one says that would be lying.Director: Just do it Tifa! Hard to get good help these days…

Scene 2 Pillar Explosion:

Cloud: This scene was the easiest.

Barret: No kidding. I had Tifa in my lap. I could have taken her single handedly.

Cloud: That's not what I meant!

Tifa: *grins*

Cloud: Anyway…The pillar is about to explode and we just gave that dumb ass Reno a can of whoop ass. We get on the huge chain and well…

Cut to scene: 

We see Cloud, Barret, and Tifa. They grab ahold of the wire and swing! The pillar explodes in a brilliant flash of light. "Um Barret. Turn! Your going to hit the wall!" screams Cloud. "I can't turn! Why don't you do it! Mister spiky-head know it all! They fly down and smack into the wall. Director: Cut! Dammit! Move the fu*beep* wall. *sigh* Cloud gets up. Smacks Barret on the back of the head. Cloud: Would you please get off my woman? Your gun is in her fu*beep side! Barret: *blush *

Times up for this portion of the making of Final Fantasy IIV Bloopers. Tune in tomorrow for the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3: Yuffie's Questions. And Scene...

The Making of Final Fantasy IIV "Bloopers" 

The Making of Final Fantasy IIV "Bloopers" 

Chapter 3

Yuffie's Questions.

Interviewer: Thanks For coming Yuffie. Have a seat.

Yuffie: Thanks! (hides something in the back of her pocket.)

Interviewer: lets get started okay?

Interviewer: What is your opinion on Barret's Relase of the Sex tapes?

Yuffie: I think he's an asshole! I woudn't sleep with Cloud if Cloud was…the last man on earth!

(Cloud can be heard in the background clearing his throat.)

Interviewer: Sheesh This feels like the Jerry Springer Show. Maybe we should change the title?

Interviewer:In Final Fantasy 7 you met cloud in the woods. What exactly were you doing there?

Yuffie:Well…I have this sick fetish…of talking to plants! (leans over to a plant and starts making goo goo noises)

Interviwer: o_O Laides and gentleman…welcome to Ripley's Belive it or not!

("Read the damn script!" says someone in the back ground.)

Interviewer: Yuffie…Whats your favriote song?

Yuffie: Its that stupid Britney Spears song. I wish I had her boobs.

Interviewer: Sure. Who the heck writes these scripts?

Yuffie'sScenes: Take 1

Scene 1: The Woods…

Director: Ok. Quiet on the set. Cloud and the others walk through the woods. And the meet Yuffie. Action!

We find Cloud and the others walking in the woods…and they are walking…and walking…and walking…

Director: Cut! Where the hell is yuffie? 

We find Yuffie and Vincent in the woods making out.

Director: Yuffie! This is not a fu*bleep* movie! Get it in gear girl!

Yuffie *blush * oops! Sorry. See you in my trailer Vince baby.

Director: Action!

We find Cloud and the others walking into the woods when a girl appears out of the bushes. She falls and trips on a near by branch in the dirt. She slides past the others and down a hill.

Scene 1: Take 2

We find Cloud and the others walking into the woods when a girl appears out of the bushes. She takes out her shruiken. "Come on you punks!" Yuffie takes a fighters stance. She makes a swipe with her shruiken cutting her straps and making her shorts fall down. Yuffie Blushes and runs.

Back To interviwer:

Interviwer: Ok…That about raps it up for now. We are out of time.. But I we will be back tommrow with Yuffie and more scenes. Tune in!

Next Chapter! Final Fantasy 7 The Making "Bloopers" (or Springer) Yuffie Scenes Take 2

Im trying really hard to get into char. I have to play FF7. Im in the process right now. If Yuffie isn't looking good now. Wait till tommrow. Thanks For reading. Peace Out!


	4. Chapter 4: Scenes and Questions

Final Fantasy IIV The Making

Final Fantasy 7 The Making Bloopers

Chapter 4 Scenes and Questions part 2 Yuffie

Interviewer: Ok Yuffie…when did you start to have this weird fetish of talking to plants?

Yuffie: Well it all started with my dad locking me in a basement full of weeds.

Interviewer: uh..yeah…and why did he do that?

Yuffie: Cause I was annoying. Heheheheh…

Yuffie leans over to a small tree… She gets up and starts to hump it.

Interviewer: what the hell are you doing?

Yuffie: I can repopulate the rain forest!!

Two guys come in and put a straight jacket on her. 

Yuffie: Let me go!! I must make love to tree! LET MEEE GOOO! 

Interviewer: Ok…ive just about had my fill of this.

The interviewer goes into the back to look for the writer of this script. Knocks on a door.

Interviewer: Hello? Anyone in here? 

He opens the door to find Tifa and Zidane having sex.

Zidane: Close the damn door! And by the way…I wrote those questions MUHAHHAHAHA!!!

Interviewer: But why?

Zidane stops humping Tifa for a moment.

Zidane: Do you see a FinalFantasyIX The making fic out there? NO. I was jealous. Now shut the door!

Interviewer: I guess I should get back to the questions…

Goes back into the hall way and on to the stage. 

Interviewer: Ladies and Gentlemen…Vincent!

A huge monster tears through the wall. Its jaws work up and down blood dripping from them. The interviewer screams in terror. The monster rears back and uses Beast Flare. The interviewer is almost burned to death. The monster transforms back into The human form of Vincent.

Vincent: Sorry about that…must learn to control myself. Heh.

Interviewer: Err..yeah..Well…next time use the door okay?

Interviewer: What makes you turn into these monsters like we just saw?

Vincent: My rage..my hatred for…5.99 for pent house mag! It should be much lower. (reaches out and stuffs his penthouse mag back into his shirt. It had a picture of Yuffie on the front.)

Interviwer: So you're rage comes from over priced Porno?

Vincent: Yes..It sickens me…you can't see a fine ass babe without paying 5.99 Does it look like I have that much money to spend for something like that? All I ask is for free porn! Gimme Gimme Gimme!

Interviewer: Ok…something is very wrong here…Did all the final fantasy 7 people get conked on the head or something?

In the back we can hear Tifa and Cloud fighting about Zidane.

Camera Guy 1: We are still rolling! Do something!

Interviewer: Hmm…Did you have any problems during the film?

Vincent: Yes. This damn gun would get jam. Its really hectic. Points the gun at the Interviewer.

Interviewer: Um..What are you doing?

Vincent: Don't worry it will jam.

Fires the gun…*BlaM* The interviewer falls dead.

Vincent: Well what do you know…it works?

A sign pops up…

We are experiencing technical difficulties…please be patient….

Chapter 5 

No need for Dead interviewers….


	5. Tifa's Q&A

Notes: The following Chapter is now long awaited. I have been updating all other things except this story. Now I feel the need to continue. Sooo…Here goes my sorry ass attempt at comedy. Thanks for Reading. 

BTW….I do not own Final Fantasy….SO DON'T get a lawyer.

R&R~Slayer13

Chapter 5

Tifa's Q&A

Interviwer: Ok welcome back to our show. It's been alittle bit since the last episode because well…that damn Vincent char. Killed one of the best interviwers around…anyway…let's get this show on the road. Tifa! Come on down!!

Tifa stops arguing with Cloud about Zidane and walks up to the stage. She sits down and crosses her legs cutting any possible way of getting a good view.

Interviwer: Well Tifa I have some questions for you…from the people in the audience. 

Tifa smiles and sits up straight making her boobs bounce. *Audience hoots and whistles*

Interviewer: Okay then..eh.. Question #1 comes from…Jules White..from NewYork. Mr.White? Please stand up.

A man wearing thick glasses, a pocket protecter, and tons of pimples stands up.

Mr.White: I'm here!

Interviwer: The question is..eh.. Tifa. How did you get your tits so big? And could I feel them? *rolls his eyes*

Tifa nods with approval being the whore that she is. She slowly makes her way up the the man and lets him feel her smooth tits. He lightly jumbles them around in circles, while Tifa lets out a soft moan.

Meanwhile Cloud has sneaked up behind Mr.White. Holding his buster sword high he runs him through. Leaning over his dead body…he says.

Cloud: That's my job asshole.

Interviewer: Hrm..okay this has gotten waaaay outta hand! Stop it!! NOW! THIS IS AN INTERVIEW SHOW ABOUT FINAL FANTASY IIV NOT SOME CHEAP RIP OFF OF SOME GOD FOR SAKEN PORNO!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!! SIT DOWN BEFORE I HAVE TO PUT A GUN AT BOTH OF YOUR HEADS AND FIRE!! WHO THE HELL IS WRITING THIS SHIT?? HUH? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! IF YOUR STILL READING THIS THEN YOU GUYS HAVE REALLY REALLY BIG PROBLEMS!! *sits down out of breath.*

Interviwer: This is the most fucked up show I've ever interviewed. You guys should be ashamed! *looks out at the millions of people reading.* If your still reading…you have guts.

Interviewer: Okay let's begin. Tifa these are some common asked questions for you. NOT from the audience this time. Thank god.

Tifa: Okay! Shoot!

Interviwer: Tifa. What was the hardest thing about the game to you?

Tifa: keeping my boobs intact. It was so hard! 

Cut to scene: Weapons Appear! 

They blast out of the mountain! Tifa, Barret, and the others get blown around on the high wind. As Tifa falls she gets her boobs steped on by barret! "Ahgh!!" she screams…

Interviewer: Hrm..why is it everything revolves around your tits.

Tifa: Duh cause their huge ^_^

Does her end battle stance sending her boobs straight up into the air, knocking the interviewer out of his chair.

Interviewer: Okay this is hopeless… Would everybody please come up here?

The cast of Final Fantasy IIV comes up to the stage.

Interviwer: I know we haven't gotten to you all…but there is something I have for you all. The script says…I have to kill you so we can move on to Final Fantasy IIIV Well..

They Tie up the cast of FFIIV 

Interviewer: Thanks for Your time!

They attach a bomb to the group and leave locking the door.

Tifa: NOOOO!! I can't die yet!! I haven't been able to have my titties fucked!!!

Cloud and the others only roll their eyes.

Minuites later there is a huge explosion as the whole cast of FFIIV goes up in flames.

Later behind the building….We see Zidane paying off the Interviewer and giving him a new script…

THE MAKING OF FINAL FANTASY IIIV

????

What is in store?

Stay Tuned to find out…..

THE END…..*tifa slowly walks out of the rubble and out into the forest….* or is it


End file.
